THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
