so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
jump out the window naked night went bad
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
