she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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