i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
