have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
