i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
