I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
