So drunk its hurt
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
