i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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