Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize