I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
