Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
