WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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