it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
