my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sober January is a disaster.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
