FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
