Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize