He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
handjob tips. give me some.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
