It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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