Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
as a side note pls kill me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
