I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
