dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
