is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
