I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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