He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
