how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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