we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
