Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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