hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
