my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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