You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize