Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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(281): View more from Texas

i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks

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(705): View more from Ontario

I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out

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(602): View more from Arizona

FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX

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(310): View more from California

Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.

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