Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
