And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize