I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
