i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
