Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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