ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
