apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's never too late to be topless.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
