2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wear drunk well.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
