don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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