I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
