he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
