i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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