playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
