just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize