Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
