Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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