And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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