I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
