I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
