grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize