I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
