If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
