that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
