What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize