We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
