Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
