I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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