if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
