He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
