she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
