I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
