so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
