First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
