Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
