Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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